Up-Level Your Communication: The Key to Instilling Confidence
Communication is the bedrock of every successful relationship, whether you're navigating complex client deals, leading a team, or maintaining positive personal relationships. While we could dive into a hundred different communication skills, one overarching theme instantly elevates your impact: instilling confidence.
While instilling confidence may already be a strength for you, this concept can be a powerful tool to help up-level your teammates or direct reports to have more effective conversations and more successful outcomes. In my recent coaching conversations, the most common hurdle I see is not a lack of knowledge, but an inability to convey that knowledge with a sense of clarity and assurance.
As the great Maya Angelou famously said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." This quote is the cornerstone of instilling confidence. When a conversation ends, you want your audience to walk away feeling secure in your expertise and confident that you will deliver on your commitments. You want them to feel that you have a solid command of the situation.
Think of every high-stakes conversation as a performance on a stage. You may be incredibly knowledgeable, but the audience isn't just hearing your facts—they're judging your delivery. A shaky tone, poor cadence, or careless words can sow doubt. Here’s how to ensure your performance leaves them feeling confident.
It Starts with Your Voice
The most impactful part of your communication isn't the words you use; it’s how you deliver them. The tone in your voice, your cadence, the speed at which you speak, and even your pauses can either instill confidence or doubt. These are nuanced signals, and mastering them requires you to be self-aware of how your words are actually leaving your mouth.
Consider the difference in these two scenarios:
Doubtful: (Long pause) "Umm... I'm not sure... I'll get back to you."
Confident: (Clear tone, steady pace) "I don't have the answer to that question right now, but I will get back to you with the solution within 24 hours. Will that work for you?"
The second response acknowledges the unknown but immediately follows with a clear, actionable plan. This instills confidence in your audience because you've demonstrated command and a reliable path forward.
Your Words Matter
While verbal nuances are critical, the words you choose—especially in written communication—are equally powerful. Be ruthless about eliminating filler words and phrases that create uncertainty.
Words like "just," "I think," and "maybe" can undermine your authority. Consider the difference these small changes make:
Doubtful: "I just wanted to check in to see if you might have thought about the proposal."
Confident: "I'm following up on the proposal. Let me know your thoughts by EOD."
Doubtful: "I think the next step is to potentially present this to the client."
Confident: "The next step is to present this plan to the client. I've scheduled the meeting for Friday."
The second examples are not arrogant—they are direct and efficient. They signal that you've done the work, you have conviction, and you respect the other person's time.
Be Concise
Beyond filler words, I often see people talk in circles or over-explain things. This makes your audience feel you are disorganized and that you lack a firm grasp of the subject. Similar to written communication, you want to get your verbal point across as efficiently as you can.
If you are prone to being too wordy, here are a few strategies to instill confidence through conciseness:
Mentally Outline Your Points: Before speaking, take a moment to quickly structure your thoughts. What is the single, most important point you need to make? What are the one or two key pieces of supporting information? This mental roadmap will prevent you from talking in circles.
Embrace the Pause: After you make your main point, stop talking. The silence isn't awkward; it's a sign of confidence. It gives your audience a chance to process what you said and form their own thoughts or ask questions. Don't fill the silence with unnecessary explanations—your core message is powerful enough to stand on its own.
Practice
The good news is that instilling confidence is a skill you can develop. You can practice this in low-stakes situations every single day.
When the cashier at the grocery store asks if you want paper or plastic bags, respond with a clear and confident "Paper, please."
When the waiter asks for your order, give it without hesitation or a trailing "I guess I'll have..."
Practice speaking with a clear voice and steady pace when you're on the phone with a customer service representative.
For more targeted practice, consider recording yourself speaking or role-playing a meeting with a trusted colleague. Getting feedback on your tone and word choice can provide invaluable insights into how you're perceived.
Practice these small adjustments, and soon they'll become second nature. When you walk away from your next conversation, don't just think about what you said. Think about how you made them feel. Because that feeling of confidence, in you and your abilities, is the most powerful communication tool you have.