The Motivation Paradox: Stop Trying to Light Fires, Start Guarding Them

Hi Team,

So much leadership advice revolves around a central question: "How can I motivate my team?" We attend seminars, read books, and strategize about inspiring peak performance. But what if we're focusing on the wrong side of the equation? I've found that flipping this question can be far more powerful and tangible: Instead of asking how you can motivate your team, ask yourself how you can avoid de-motivating them.

The reality is, if you hire good, capable people, they typically arrive with a healthy dose of intrinsic motivation. They want to do well, contribute meaningfully, and feel a sense of accomplishment. That inner fire, that drive to wake up and work hard, largely comes from within. Your primary role as a leader, then, isn't necessarily to ignite that flame—it's to create an environment where it can burn brightly and to ensure you're not inadvertently (or intentionally) dousing it with cold water.

Think about your own career journey. I'm sure you can recall instances where a leader's actions, or inactions, left you feeling deflated, undervalued, or just plain unenthusiastic. Perhaps you poured your heart into a project only for priorities to shift abruptly with little explanation, making your efforts feel wasted. Or maybe you witnessed a colleague consistently underperforming without consequence, making you question why you were pushing so hard. These experiences, big and small, are the silent killers of motivation.

Good leaders are acutely aware of these potential pitfalls. They are intentional about cultivating an environment that protects and nurtures that innate drive. This isn't about grand gestures; often, it's about consistently avoiding the common traps that can leave a team feeling demotivated.

Let's explore some of these common de-motivators and, more importantly, what we can do as leaders to steer clear of them. This list isn't exhaustive, but it’s a solid starting point for reflecting on how our actions might be perceived by our teams.

Common Demotivators and How to Avoid Them:

1. Lack of Recognition:

   • The Pitfall: Failing to acknowledge and appreciate good work can make team members feel invisible and their efforts undervalued.

   • Actionable Tip: Make recognition specific, timely, and genuine. It doesn’t always have to be a grand gesture. A simple, sincere "Thank you for your excellent work on X, I really appreciate how you Y" in a team meeting or a one-on-one can go a long way. Consider different forms of recognition that resonate with different individuals (public praise, private thanks, new opportunities).

2. Micromanagement:

   • The Pitfall: Overly controlling every detail of how someone does their work signals a lack of trust and stifles autonomy, creativity, and initiative. It tells your team you don't believe in their capabilities.

   • Actionable Tip: Clearly define the desired outcome and any critical guardrails, then empower your team to figure out the "how." Offer support and be available for questions, but resist the urge to dictate every step. Schedule regular check-ins to monitor progress and offer guidance, rather than constantly looking over their shoulder. If you are working with a seasoned person, consider starting the conversation by asking “how do you think you should proceed” instead of telling them what to do.

3. Unclear Expectations:

   • The Pitfall: When goals, priorities, and responsibilities are vague or constantly shifting without clarity, team members can feel lost, confused, and unable to succeed. They can't hit a target they can't see.

   • Actionable Tip: Invest time in setting crystal-clear goals (e.g., using clear and well-defined criteria). Ensure each team member understands their role, responsibilities, and how their work contributes to the bigger picture. When you are done explaining, consider asking “am I making sense” instead of “does that make sense?” to invite the person to share if further clarification is needed. Remember, the responsibility is on you to communicate in a way that your audience can understand, not the other way around. Regularly revisit and reaffirm these expectations, especially when changes occur.

4. Inconsistent Treatment or Tolerating Underperformance:

   • The Pitfall: Favoritism, applying rules unevenly, or allowing underperformers to coast without accountability breeds resentment and a sense of unfairness. Your top performers will notice and wonder why they're working so hard when others aren't held to the same standard.

   • Actionable Tip: Strive for fairness and transparency in your decisions and interactions. Address underperformance proactively and privately, providing support and clear expectations for improvement. Ensure that rewards and opportunities are distributed based on merit and contribution.

5. Ignoring Input or Feedback:

   • The Pitfall: Dismissing suggestions, ideas, or feedback without due consideration can make team members feel their opinions don't matter and that their expertise isn't valued. This quickly discourages them from speaking up in the future.

   • Actionable Tip: Actively solicit input from your team and listen with an open mind. If you can't implement a suggestion, explain why. Thank individuals for their contributions, even if you go in a different direction. Create formal and informal channels for feedback and show that it's taken seriously.

6. Poor Communication & Lack of Transparency:

   • The Pitfall: Withholding important information, being ambiguous, or communicating poorly (or too infrequently) can create anxiety, distrust, and fuel rumors. People need context to feel secure and engaged.

   • Actionable Tip: Be as transparent as possible about company decisions, changes, and challenges (within appropriate boundaries). Communicate regularly and clearly through multiple channels. Explain the "why" behind decisions, not just the "what." Encourage questions and provide honest answers.

7. Blaming Individuals Publicly:

   • The Pitfall: Focusing on individual failures or shortcomings in a public forum is humiliating, destroys psychological safety, and creates a culture of fear where mistakes are hidden rather than learned from.

   • Actionable Tip: Address performance issues or mistakes privately and constructively. Focus on the behavior or the situation, not the person. In team settings, discuss setbacks as collective learning opportunities, asking "What can we learn from this?" rather than "Whose fault was this?"

8. Lack of Development Opportunities:

   • The Pitfall: When team members don't see opportunities for growth, learning new skills, or advancing their careers, they can feel stagnant and disengaged. Most people want to feel they are progressing.

   • Actionable Tip: Have regular career development conversations. Understand your team members' aspirations and actively look for opportunities to help them grow – whether through new projects, training, mentorship, or increased responsibilities. Champion their development.

9. Setting Unrealistic Goals or Deadlines:

   • The Pitfall: Consistently setting unattainable targets or impossible deadlines can lead to chronic stress, burnout, frustration, and a pervasive feeling of constant failure, no matter how hard people work.

   • Actionable Tip: Involve your team in the goal-setting process to ensure targets are challenging yet achievable. Break down large goals into smaller, manageable milestones. Be realistic about resources and timelines, and be prepared to adjust if circumstances genuinely change.

10. Not Leading by Example:

    • The Pitfall: When a leader's actions don't align with their words, the team's values, or the standards they set for others, it erodes trust, credibility, and motivation. "Do as I say, not as I do" is a recipe for cynicism.

    • Actionable Tip: Be the standard. Demonstrate the work ethic, integrity, and behaviors you expect from your team. If you preach work-life balance, model it. If you expect accountability, hold yourself accountable first. Your actions speak louder than any memo.

Guarding the Flame: A Leader's True Calling

No leader is perfect, and we all make mistakes. The key is self-awareness and a commitment to continuous improvement. Regularly reflect on your actions and their potential impact on your team's motivation. Solicit feedback and be open to hearing how you can better support them.

Protecting your team's intrinsic motivation isn't a passive act; it requires constant vigilance and self-awareness. By understanding and actively avoiding these common de-motivators, we create the space for our team members' natural enthusiasm and dedication to shine.

If you're reading this as an individual contributor and current circumstances are impacting your motivation, I encourage you to consider sharing constructive feedback with your leader. Sometimes, they may not even realize the impact of their actions.

What de-motivators have you experienced or perhaps unintentionally perpetrated? What strategies have you found most effective in keeping your team's inner fire burning bright?

I'd love to hear your insights so we can all learn from each other – please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments or direct message.

Warmly,

Jane

Photo by Cullan Smith on Unsplash